Friday, January 28, 2011

I am not perfect....

I have learned alot about myself the last few weeks. I am not perfect....and the awesome thing is, thats OKAY.

You see, I have a problem. A problem with comparing myself with others. I have had this problem for as long as I can remember. And most especially since having my cute little Rylie-Jane. I love her....and I'm learning to love the fact that my body is NOT the same since having her.

Yes I am thin, but I still have a belly. And Yes, people are going to say, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? But I'm writing this for me, not you.


I try REALLY, REALLY hard to eat healthy. I am very picky about what my kids do and do not eat. I am very happy about this. I want to give them the best things for their bodies. Sometimes I do great at this, and sometimes I dont...and you know what, thats OKAY. Sometimes I choose great meals for myself, and sometimes I don't. But knowing that the good meals outweight the not so good...I'm okay with that.

The last few weeks have been hard. I've been sick, kids have been sick, things have been crazy around here. I have done my best to give everyone what they need, sometimes its worked, and sometimes it hasnt...and you know what? you guessed it...thats okay.

What is this thing I have with comparing myself to others? I need and should be happy with where I'm at. Just because this person does X, doesn't mean I need to do Y and Z. I need to find the "happy balance" thats just right for me and for my family.

My body is not perfect...and no, it won't ever be. But I wonder where I draw the line? I LOVE MY BODY, IT SERVES ME WELL. That is still all over my house. And I'm grateful for it. It helps me to remember. I don't like looking in the mirror and having bad thoughts about myself. I need to be happy with where I'm at (haven't I said that before) and continue on my journey.

That being said, (is anybody listening???) I miss running. Especially OUTSIDE. Life has gotten in the way. I have not been able to do a race for over a year, that makes me sad. And it's not because I don't run, its because I just haven't had the extra money to participate. I miss being in races...I miss having a schedule to go by. I have been thinking about running alot lately. I love the feelings that I have when I run. I hope to get back in my groove soon.

Life with 4 kids is busy. Life with 4 kids and homeschooling is busy. Life with 4 kids, homeschooling, piano and a husband is busy. Life with all of that...PLUS doing my best in exercise and healthy eating is BUSY. Sometimes I will do great and other times I wont. I need to be okay with that, and quit the guilty feeling business. I have a great body and my husband and children love me for who I am. Cant I love MYSELF that much too????

Do I have to have 6 pack abs to love myself as much as they do?