I'm writing here, in hopes of remembering how I'm feeling at this very moment.
Lack of self confidence.
The recent move has been a doozy. I have found comfort in food, sugar, ALL of the above. Then Halloween hit...and I wasn't fully prepared. But I did read an inspiring blog entry where someone paid their kids money for their halloween candy. Score! Halloween came, and I thought...and I thought...and I contemplated...(side note, about a month ago I wanted my kids and hubby to go off sugar...but I wasn't ready) If I bought their candy...I could throw it away...THEN I could maybe convince them of my plan of going OFF sugar....
It was late Sunday night. I took each kid individually and asked them about the candy. They all agreed to let me buy their candy for 5 bucks each. Walker promptly fell asleep...but the older 2 kids stayed up and we had a GREAT talk with them. About food, especially about sugar. I told them I had a challenge for them. I told them I wanted to go without Sugar until Thanksgiving. They agreed....and they were EXCITED!
This world is full of SUGAR. Treats are everywhere. It seems like everytime I turn around, they are getting a "treat" for something. And of course its candy...or cookies...or just CRAP. So, I told them, when they are given the opportunity to have something like that, they will need to say no thank you. And they STILL AGREED!!! HA
Now, truthfully, my kids don't get a lot of sugar around here anyway. And when they do get it, its because of me...becuase I want it, so therefore, THEY get it. So, we've been off the "refined" sugars bandwagon. No icecream, store bought anything. I did tell them that we were free to make our homemade treats, with sucanat, honey, maple syrup. The "real" natural sweetners.
Nobody has complained once....it makes me happy.
Even though we are making the healthier treats, I need to be reminded that they still have calories...YIKES....over the weekend my daughter got baptized. I ate one too many healthy cookies.
I have had a rough time with the whole "eating" thing lately. I don't know what my problem is. I actually do pretty well during the week, then the weekend hits and my good eating goes out the window. SO. I am going to try my VERY hardest to document all the food I eat this week. Keep track of whats going in my mouth...so that hopefully the "mindless eating" can slowly disappear and I can get back on track.
My old self has long since been lost since our move. I have been in a R.U.T. A Long R.U.T.
Am I ready to be myself again? Am I ready to focus on the good things? Am I ready to be accountable for where I want to go and what I want to become? I hope so....